Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
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Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up
in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. 
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
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We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of
those we don't like?

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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday
always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or
lose.

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Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome."
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Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in
trouble again.
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Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
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It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem
solving.
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Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
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Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
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The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your action.
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Dont worry that the world ends today, its already tomorrow in
Australia.(nice)
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U learn in life when u lose
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"Intellectuals solve problems:geniuses prevent them."